truth nugget #79 #metoo

#metoo
the thing about this – from what we deem small instances of sexual harassment (cat-calling, perhaps) to violent sexual abuse – is that it’s ingrained to a point that once in a while I get cat-called, and a part of my brain goes, “oh thanks, I didn’t think I looked good today” or I receive a subtle, patronisingly sexist comment and I’m so used to it, that it takes me a second to register that I should be offended. it’s so EVERYDAY. it affects everyday decisions. it means people who identify as women end up BELIEVING that we have to be careful of what we say, what we wear, where we go, who we talk to. or that our self-worth is measured by the people who think they can toy with it casually. it means having to EXPLAIN WHY these things SHOULD NOT be commonplace and JUSTIFY that our reactions are NOT friggin triggered and we are NOT BEING SENSITIVE. I’ve been talked down to, been told to calm down even when I’ve been blatantly disrespected, been called “little girl”, whistled at, countlessly undressed with men’s eyes, flashed at, asked to flash myself at others, touched in the front seat of a cab, grinded against in clubs and on trains, and (even though this is an assumption, I’m pretty sure something bad would’ve gone down if Dawn Ho and I hadn’t stood our ground) possibly been considered for kidnapping into some sex exploitation ring. this has happened all over the world and while I’ve tried to be vocal about it, I’ve also played my part in dismissing things to myself, telling myself that maybe I AM overreacting, like the world has told me, and/or controlling my rage because… what else can I do about it. it’s bullshit and it’s intensely f$%&ed up. and I’m done with it. every one of us needs to ask ourselves how we perpetuate this everyday, from the things we act upon, to just the things we think in our heads. cos that’s where it starts.
 
much respect and thanks to all the people who have shared their stories. ♥️
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truth nugget #79 #metoo

truth nugget #78

JAZZ is not exclusive.
JAZZ is not elite.
JAZZ does not have to be erudite.
JAZZ is for the body and soul.
JAZZ is music that lifts and breaks chains,
opens the mind and says, thou SHALL.
JAZZ is night and day,
thunder and silence.
JAZZ is now and then,
lush with history and full of promise.
JAZZ is a Meshuggah drum solo
and a funk guitar riff,
a Dilla beat and a
boogie bass line.
JAZZ is all or nothing at all.

truth nugget #78

truth nugget #77

I’m very thankful that I was raised a Catholic by a family who never emphasised dogma, ritual and sin but instead, truth, forgiveness and above all, love. because of that, I believe that the Easter season is supposed to be about the triumph of love and courage over hate and fear. I’m not religious but I respectfully wish everyone hope in that triumph. 

truth nugget #77

truth nugget #76

it’s Women’s Day. the word feminist has become such a dirty word to most people but here’s what I think it means. I’m a feminist so I believe in equality for all genders, colours, and tribes. I believe that feminism is about my right to choose – what I want to do with my life, who I want to do it with, what I want to put on my body, who I choose to show it to, how vocal I want to be, and how loud or how soft I want it to be. my mind is my own, my body is my own and that means no one gets to tell me that what I’ve chosen is right, wrong, smart, stupid, strong, weak, modest or downright seductive. I believe being a fierce, bold woman means that I make my mistakes and own up to them, give due to the people who deserve it, never be too proud to accept counsel, and always hold myself up to my own ideals of gender and feminism. I am the only one who has a say in my life. here’s to all the women who taught me these things along the way and who made my proud to be a representative of my sex. HAPPY WOMEN’S DAY! ♥️

truth nugget #76

truth nugget #74

TEMET NOSCE.

KNOW THYSELF.

it is my main tenet. being fully honest about your own strengths and weaknesses is the only thing you can really control and be responsible for. it’s not very pretty and you need to face up to some scary truths about yourself sometimes. but in this world where rugs are being pulled out from under our feet almost everyday now, there is so much outside of the self that can be completely disorienting.  

so. the last thing you want to be blind-sided by, is yourself. 

truth nugget #74

truth nugget #73

here’s the thing people don’t understand about insomnia – it is VERY traumatising. when you’re going through a bout and after a few nights you’re AFRAID to get into bed because you don’t want to deal with the sleeplessness; when you’ve been tossing for 3 hours and you’re doing all you can to think about everything EXCEPT sleep, because people say don’t think about it, just let your mind wander; when your eyes burn because you’ve been clenching them shut, because what they really want to do is fly open; when your face aches from subconsciously frowning for hours in bed and when your body cramps up from lack of rest. some nights you give up and get out of bed and ride it for a few days, some nights you pop a pill. some nights you cry into your pillow because the frustration is so deep it’s all you can do and some nights you’re so hysterical you can’t help but laugh at yourself. 

I’ve been there, I’m there tonight, I have been this whole week. 

to my fellow insomniacs, I hope the attack doesn’t last long, and more than that, I hope we get to the truth of what is causing our minds to play havoc with our sleep. goodnight and good luck. 

truth nugget #73