universal truth: you accept the love you think you deserve. if your parent/partner/child/etc. doesn’t treat you well enough and you stay, or do not change the terms of your relationship, you are accepting that reality. if you complain but stay, you are still accepting it. if you are in a relationship with a partner, or have a job that “isn’t good enough” but you’re staying in it because “you think you won’t find anything better than that”, then that treatment IS what you think you deserve, whether you want to believe it or not. this is condescendingly harsh and much, much easier to say than do, but because I have been through this with several people in my life, I feel I have the authority to say it. if you can accept it, you deserve it. if you can’t, leave or change it. if you can’t accept it but don’t leave, you are not only actually accepting it, you are also encouraging that person to treat you as badly as they do, and you do deserve it.
disclaimer: I am not removing responsibility from people who treat others badly. this only regards the perspective of the person who chooses to stay in a bad or uncomfortable situation. I also have no intention of disrespecting anyone’s belief in the sanctity of marriage and am not being frivolous on the matter of divorce. I am also not pretending that it is as cut and dry in relationships that involve abuse, however the same truth does apply in some cases: where the victims think they “deserve” to be hurt; perhaps because of unfortunate upbringings or cruel brainwashings.